More Inspiration

We're spending the day working on gifts for family. Lot's of snow (we're working on 2 feet right now). Here is some inspiration.

Unabashedly Political and Humorous

For Sarah and my Dad. For those of you who don't know the history of these songs they are both written by Tom Paxton. The first one is in it's original from from 1980 (as far as I can tell) the second song was originally titled Lyndon Johnson Told the Nation. In their original forms these songs are ones I grew up with and they seem appropriate right now. I can ony hope that many of the other songs I grew up with will not be relevant any time soon. Of course, that's Arlo Guthrie singing in the first video.

I have tears in my eyes

I have tears in my eyes, tears of joys and disbelief. I was so afraid to hope, although hope was the theme. As I sit here waiting to hear Obama's speech I am starting to put together what it means to me that he has won. We are free of the Bush regime (well 70 days from now). We have a hope that this country will not be forever racist or sexist or homophobic. I have so many hopes for our new president. Shall we now sit back and watch this all unfold, helping where we can?

anecdote: a friend working at a phone bank in Colorado was talking to another worker who commented that he had really been enjoying volunteering and that after the election he was going to find another organization to volunteer with. I hope that there are many more people do the same. If that was to be the case the benefit of this election will be much greater than just electing Obama as president.

If you have time pick up a copy of Soul of a Citizen as well as The Call to Service

with joy I will say good night.

Vote

It has seemed a little more like election week than election day here. I voted on Friday and 25% of the state had voted already by last night. But then here in Vermont it is the governor's race that makes adifference this year (in terms of our votes). Still it is the Presidential election that is everyone's focus. At work we have music playing all the time so the computer is set for NPR where they have constantly updated articles today. For all the polls that I hear I am still afraid that the election will slip through our fingers again. In fear that I will be the deciding bit of fate I have no Obama pins or t-shirts or stickers and I have stayed quiet. But honestly I am dedicated to this election as my friend who has spent every night for the last month trying to swing Colorado blue. It is just that I am so afraid to speak.

O-ne day until we know
B-eing consious of the difference this day will make
M-y heart races
A-stonishing how far we've come since I was a child
M-y heart races
A- man who speaks to me in a language I understand.

excuse the bad poetry

Brief Diversion

Long day, boxes to pack, needed a little inspiration.

Ani Difranco Interview with Mindful Mama Magazine from Mindful Mama Magazine on Vimeo.

Is there anyone more motivation than Ani?

The World Made By Hand- a Book Review and Tangents

Our little part of Vermont sits in the corner butting up against Berkshire county in Massachusetts and Washington and Rensselaer Counties in New York. So, when I picked up James Kunstler's World Made By Hand I knew the setting intimately. Kunstler, who is more known for his nonfiction books takes draws on the ideas from much of his other writing, including the Long Emergency.

The idea behind the novel is that oil has run out, the United States has been ed in Washington DC and Los Angeles, and there has been two epidemics that have wiped out 1/3 of the population. But that is just the background. The story focuses on one small town in upstate New York and what life is like there. Told through the eyes of Robert who is a carpenter (at least at this point of his life) we see how, in a time when there is no power, no cars, and no centralized government, how the world of this small town evolves. While the plot of the story is driven by various conflicts and adventures Kunstler spends most of his time describing how, in a world without all of the modern "necessities" people get things done.

After reading the first third of the book one night I had to put it down for an entire week. I would get up in the middle of the night and think about the best way to use the land the family cabin is on, I made a list of all the skills I need to learn, I even figured out details about what strengths different family members had how they would be useful. I had to put the book down so that I could refocus myself. After a few days I went from the stressful 'Oh my god this is going to happen tomorrow' attitude to seeing that this isn't immediate but it is possible one.

Last night I picked up the book again last night and finished it. The stress of the week before had subsided and I was excited to find out about the characters. While it isn't a complex emotional story Kunstler does manage to make a reasonable transition from nonfiction to fiction with this novel. I've reviews that criticize his white only setting of the novel but I think it makes sense, he wanted to focus on how things would work, the only diversity is religious. But every book can't be everything, it is just one story so I forgive him the limits he put on the story. It would have been a different book if there were cultural differences that had to be addressed. This is a work of fiction it doesn't have to all things for all people.

The stress that World Made by Hand has left me with has transformed into an excitement that I haven't felt since childhood. While I know none of this is going to happen tomorrow or next month I get a thrill from imagining what exactly life would be like. As a kid I would spend hours imagining so many different realities for myself. What if I was a medieval knight on the road what would I bring? What would it be like to live in "olden days" (Little House on the Prairie)? These questions would fill my mind for hours, including much of my school days. But now I understand that it isn't just if these events happen to prepare for them but that some of these skills and approaches to life might actually be better for me.

All you hear about lately is local food and going green, change for saving our planet has been co-opted by fashion and popularity. What so much of the discussion about these changes forgets is how it affects us as people, right now. We've started making all of our bread products (with a few exceptions) this means that I spend up to an hour a week kneading dough. Not a big deal, except for me it is one of the best parts of my day, sure I could use the mixer to do it but there is something balancing about it, I look forward to it. A lot of these changes involve slowing down and taking more time to focus on ourselves, our families and communities, something that hasn't been important for decades. We live in a country where fame and excessive wealth is considered the apex of achievement. Children are spend more time with nannies and tutors than their own families so that everyone can spend their time 'getting ahead'.


Personally I'd like to slow down a little and spend more time focusing on being a family and enjoying our lives. Of course, that involves financial security but I am not willing to give up our happiness for a financial number that grows inversely to the amount of time we spend together or at least doing things we love.

Small is good.

One of the things that I love about our store is that with most of the crafters that we get our products from the relationship is at least a little more than just business. In the span of a day I received an email asking me how we were fairing in the depths of winter and this card.
It makes me cringe to think in how short a time that we have dismantled the small artisan and business owner based economic structure of the world. When I end up in a mall (as I was loathed to do earlier today) it makes me sad to see all these things on racks and shelves with no story, no connection to the maker and certainly no connection between the person who made them and the person who eventually purchases them.

My whole experience today proved this even more so. I was returning a pair of pants that I wore once and had the zipper break. The woman at the counter didn't even ask what was wrong, when I offered she said it was the first time that had happened. After returning them I went to find another pair and every pair I tried the zipper on did the exact same thing. The saddest part is that the brand's whole image is that people shouldn't have to spend a lot of money to get quality clothing.

After dragging Alder to this evil place I figured that he should have some run around time so we stopped at the anemic playground where he stood in a gaze for ten minutes before even doing anything. After another twenty minutes of me getting more and more depressed by the mall culture he didn't complain at all when I brought him his shoes.

I couldn't even bring myself to stop at the food co-op on the way home, all I wanted was to be back hereto watch the snow from my desk surrounded by pieces that people have put their care and love into making.

To make matters worse I stopped at a Dunkin Donuts on the way their this morning. I admit there is something in my memory about eating munchkins in the middle of the night with my parents on road trips, but when I tasted them this morning I really thought I had bitten into a piece of sugared play dough.

I know we live in a bubble, our news is NPR exclusively, we only own a TV for watching videos, we cook most of our own food from scratch and so do most of the people we know, both here and when we were in Denver. I just sort of hope every time I step outside of the bubble that the rest of the world really isn't that depressing. For now I'll stick to the donuts from the dinner downtown where they also serve turkey hash.

I dedicate this to everyone who makes things by hand, works for a small business and anyone who cooks their own food.

Have I Mentioned the Crows?

The summer I turned ten I went away to a very special summer camp, there are thousands of stories that I could tell about how that place has had an affect on my life but right now I want to tell you about the crows.

The crows there seemed to like me and scare me. They would follow me to and from the barn early in the morning when I, always late, would walk alone to barn-chores. They would settle near me at what ever activity I was doing during the day. If I ever stopped to pick peas or rhubarb in the garden (yes this was a farm camp, among other things) they would come close to inspect me. All this attention from the crows made me very nervous. I would try my hardest to walk to the barn with other kids, often doing it with my boots untied or in my arms.

As the summer progressed I learned to ignore the crows. Well sort of, I had just became better at getting ready in the morning and I always had someone to walk with after evening barn-chores.

As I grew old the crows just stayed around.

After college I moved to Colorado and the whole way across the country there was always a small murder waiting for me. At the time I was sure they were following, now I rather think they just warned each other of my arrival. After settling in Durango they became much more bold. I would sometimes find them on top of my car after a days work at the ski resort. These were bold crows who frightened me, they would caw as I came down to the parking lot only fly off when I took my keys out.

It was during that first year that the crows began to soften. They would follow me, but occasionally it would be them leading. On my rare days off I would go for hikes, following them, I saw many beautiful places this way. Of course I was still scared of them, but I respected them too. With one boy friend they would crowd the tree by his window waking us up early, he swore they were only ever there when I was.

Finally I met Kevin, someone who I could tell my strange crow story to and rather than laughing he took me seriously. We talked about what the crows could mean or what it was about me that attracted them. During that time I had a frightening dream about a crow that came into my bed and was flapping all over me. I woke in dread but Kevin showed up soon for an early morning breakfast and calmed me. That's when I told him about the crows.



Since then I've used crows like some people use tarot cards or the I Ching. When I'm trying to make a decision I look for them and see what they are doing. I interpret their movements to help me choose. It isn't as though they tell me what to do, that would be nutty, instead they are a way for me make concrete thoughts that were floating in my mind. They still follow me around but it just makes me smirk now.

She's Running for a Cause

Iris and Alder last September in Denver.

I got this in an email from Alder's Aunt Amanda.
We are running for 2 people in particular. My mother, Iris Grossman, was diagnosed with a relapse of lung cancer last October after 4 years in remission. A non-smoker her entire life, she is one of the lucky ones because they caught it early both times. After one serious operation and a year of chemo she is still going strong but not yet cancer free. Our classmate Val's Aunt Jane Garland passed away from lung cancer on October 30, 2006 at the age of 57. She lost a short battle due to a late diagnosis. Val's hope is that no other family has to under go that same struggle by increasing the availability of early detection methods. Lung Cancer is now the number one cancer killer of women. 15% of all newly diagnosed lung cancer cases are non-smokers who never smoked, most of which are women. 60% of all cases have not smoked in years, again most of which are women. We are running to increase awareness of this disease and hope that more time and money will be spent on early detection and finding a cure. Thanks for your support, Amanda Grossman, Andrea Wysocki, and Joy Burwell.

It would be wonderful if anyone could help. The donation page is here.

15 Days Africa

We have been watching a few movies about Africa lately and it has brought up many issues about the world and human behavior. The sad part is that American's look at the entire continent and call it Africa. Why is it that we regard every country there as interchangeable? We would never say something was just European or Asian. I don't think people would confuse Vietnam and Kirghistan or Germany with Portugal, yet we continue to look at Africa as a monolithic culture people and government.

I first noticed this when I was taking a class on the teaching of social studies (in my last life) when many of the adult students thought it was a waste of time learning all the African countries by name and location. Why teach something to their students when the media and larger world just look at them as one. I couldn't believe that these future teachers were claiming the media as a standard for them to hold. I certainly wasn't going to bring up the underlying racism in what they were saying.

Since then I have done my best to educate myself about different countries in Africa when they come up in the news or in art. If it wasn't for the internet I would be stuck reading heavy anthropological texts because it seems that the idea of Africa as a single place is pervasive. The excuse I here is that there are so many countries with similar sounding names. Oh okay Joan... oh wait your name is Jane.

Before Alder this only served as another spot that I was frustrated with the general population of my country. Now I see it as a great place to model the importance of respect and the joy I have in learning about new places. Alder will know the difference between Zambia and Zimbabwe and not just their position on the map.

There are 54 countries in Africa can you name them?

Some Africa Links

http://geography.about.com/library/maps/blrafrica.htm
A basic list with links

African Studies Center UPenn
Web resources, annotated

Afropop Worldwide
African music and the influence it has had around the world; there is a section to look by country, there are some non African countries listed.

27 Day When the News Makes Me Go Grrrrr!

NPR just reported this story about infant deaths in Detroit. It makes me furious that the doctor was making all these claims about cosleeping being the cause of the deaths when there have been studies that have shown that cosleeping reduces the risk of SIDS. The doctor in the story made cosleeping out to be this thing that only happens in families that are too poor for cribs or who don't know better because they are from distant lands (read backwards). The reality is that it is only in The United States and England (Canada?) where cosleeping is not the norm.

If you are curious about cosleeping there are some resources here and here.

Just had to put this out there.

Retelling the Butterfly Tale

Once during the dynastic rule of China there was an emperor who was at war with the neighboring kingdom. Things were not looking good for this king, the enemy was preparing to attack and his troops we spread thin. He was not sure what to do so he sent for the most venerable and spiritual of wise men.

This wise man lived out beyond the walls of the city in the forest in a small hut. He was in fact a Taoist sage, but on occasion he would come advise the king because he had a good head for affairs of the state.

On the morning that the escort arrived to bring the wise man back to the royal seat he was in his garden watching a nearby stream, he watched as sticks that were floating down river tried to navigate their way through the rocks. Some would remain jambed between stones, others would end up in the eddies and float listlessly with no current to move them forward. The few that did pass the rocky section tended to float a little higher and shift more easily with the current. He was contemplating how these sticks related to the lives of people when the escort showed up out of breath.

"The Emperor requests your advice immediately," the escort announced with his chest pushed out although his breath was still short from the run from the city's gate.

"Have some water while I gather my scrolls," the wise man told the escort.

The escort collapsed against the wall of the hut to drink the bowl of water the wise man had given him. While he drank the wise man rummaged around in his home looking for things at an easy pace. The escort had finished his water and he could hear the wise man whistling a tune as he moved around inside.

"We must hurry," the escort shouted. "The king needs your counsel and is afraid that many men will die."

"I am ready," the wise man told him.

The escort was both taller and younger than the wise man this meant that he had to continually wait for the wise man as he made his way through the woods and fields. In one field that they crossed through there were large swaths of flowers. They were so sweet smelling even the escort slowed down to inhale. But when he reached the end of the field he saw that the wise man was standing still in the middle of the field.

The escort rushed back to make sure everything was alright with the old man. As he approached he saw that the wise man was not injured at all. Rather he was just standing there watching a butterfly as it wandered around its buffet. The escort tried to cajole the wise man into hurrying but he would not move until the butterfly heavy with nectar floated off.

Once clear of the field the wise man kept up with the escort for the rest of the journey. They reached the Emperor's chambers just as the sun was at its zenith. Once he was in the chambers his sack full of scrolls were laid out on the table and arranged to make a full map of the kingdom. The two men stood over the maps discussing the possible tactics that the enemy might use. After some time they decided that they should send the bulk of the troops to the western boarder. A messenger was called up as the king wrote a message for his general.

Just as the messenger was about to leave another one arrived, bloody and exhausted. He had come from the northern front where the enemy had begun to advance. Quickly the king changed his message and sent the messenger off. Once he was gone the wise man began to laugh. It was a deep joyous laugh and he could not stop despite the kings demands.

"This is no time for laughing," the king told him.
"What could you find so funny about almost leaving open all of our villages to attack?" he asked.

Eventually the wise man stopped laughing long enough to say: "This is all thanks to the butterfly."

then he placidly gathered up his scrolls accepted a brief cup of tea and walked back to his home in the forest.

This is based on a Chinese Tale that I heard a long time ago.

The irony in my day and what it has to do with Israel (long)

This morning I felt awash in irony. As I set of to Synagogue I listened on NPR to a report about the conflict in Israel and Palestine(link to the story). Even though I am coming into my Jewishness I can't find a place in my heart for Zionism or the current attitudes that prevail in Israel. The report was discussing how the Israelis were creating more check points rather than lessening the number, as they had said they would.

I can imagine the fear that people living in that country must have being surrounded by hostile neighbors. But continuing to keep an apartheid state where Palestinians can not travel between their lands is part of the problem. God given right or not the Israelis should have taken into account the response the rest of the region would have had in 1948.

Jews have never been colonizers (although we have been colonized often). It took the help of the British Empire (albeit their tail end) to help create and "mandate" Israel. However the times of governmental colonization were coming to an end. Where ever our ancestors were from the fact is we were primarily Europeans and Americans commandeering land in the middle east. Land that the Muslims also felt was theirs.

I don't mean to give a basic history lesson but it seems that often when this discussion comes up not everyone knows that Israel in it's current form has only been there since 1948. I find a lot of Christians that I talk to think that the battle on this land has been going on for centuries. It has but those were the Crusades not the Arab Israeli conflict.

Anyway back to the irony. After fuming for a few blocks about the conflict I resigned myself to acknowledging that there was little I could do about it. Before going to temple I stopped for some coffee and was reading The Yiddish Policeman's Union Michael Chabon's new book. In Chabon's book he imagines that Israel fails and the post war Jews end up in a temporary district in the panhandle of Alaska. In his book the Jews are about to loose their home (once again).

His story, in light of the news that I had been listening to, seems almost hopeful. That their might have been another answer (although this one is not successful either). Sigh... what can I do.

So I go to the Synagogue (which happens to be in a Methodist church) for the dedication of the new ark for keeping the Torah in. We sing a lot of songs all that seem to have to do with peace. We say the weekly prayers, which highlight peace again. While I know that there are many members of the congregation who agree with me about Israel (to varying amounts) the irony of the service strikes me.

How can we be talking of peace as something we hold so close to our hearts when we still remain in such a contentious position in Israel. I know that there is a lot I do not understand, both politically and historically, still I can't help but feeling the discordance of the entire situation in Israel.

A Poem Snack

My Dad is visiting for the week so life is busy. I needed a moment to my self and a poem so I thought I would share it.

The Wild by Wendell Berry

In the empty lot- a place
not natural, but wild- among
the trash of human absence,

A few wood birds
fly and sing
in the new foliage
-warblers and tanagers, birds
wild as leaves; in a million
each one would be rare,

new to the eyes. A man
couldn't make a habit
of such color,

such flight and singing.
But they are the habit of this
wasted place. In them

the ground is wise. They are
its remembrance of what is.

After writing the poem down I now wonder if I agree with it. I am a great believer in those small wild places near by (see HERE). I don't think of them as "trash of human absence" so what then is it about this poem that attracts me? I think its the color and wildness of the birds. Even they seem to disagree with the poet.

Another Knitted Project

This is my latest knitted project to be finished. It is a felted purse for my mother in law. She is a big fan of south west native american designs and thought that it mirrored them in my choices of colors. I put a webbing strap instead of a felted one since the last felted strap I made stretched out over time. It is all hand sewn so it is debatable how well it will hold up. I offered to resew it if there is any problems, luckily my father-in-law has an industrial sewing machine at the airport hanger.

While I was shaving the excess fuzz of of the bag my mother in law played with Alder. The scene was one that must have happened millions of times over thousands of years. It is important to keep these patterns alive today, we may live in a technological world but as animals we are still back in the agricultural age. Our lives and our internal needs do not mesh, but things like spending time with extended family and knitting fill part of this need.

Expanding

So my little job copy editing for Travels in Paradise is growing. Not only is there plan for more content to be edited but now I am getting to write reviews of women's clothing. The publisher has also given me a "soapbox", their version of an editorial where I can put pieces that fit with our mission of "Exposing enlightened products, places and people"

It feels good to know that there are people out there who think what I have to say is worth sharing. I know it is just a small site, but it is still my voice out there helping to make change. Starting out I am going to rewrite some of the stuff I've worked on here. I will link to it any time I have a new article out.

Cardamom

I have a recipe for cardamom rice that I have been making for a while. But it wasn't until I found a recipe for a great bread that has cardamom in it that I discovered that the green seeds I was using were not the actual cardamom seeds. The first time I made the bread the recipe called for breaking the pod and removing the seeds. I expected to find a few narrow seeds life fennel or bulkier like sunflower seeds. Instead the seeds that I found were many and ancient looking. The experience of opening the pod was like walking into a store front and finding a medieval cathedral inside, and that is just the visual. When I separated the seeds their aroma spread through out the kitchen.

Cardamom comes from southern India and Sri Lanka. It is grown in monsoon forests and until the 19th century it was not cultivated. It's history is long, the first written mention of it was in the 2nd century BCE where it was mention in an Ayurvedic medical text. Like coffee, tea and other spices cardamom was traded for centuries along the silk road. It is highly valued, only out priced by saffron and vanilla. It's cultivation came during England's colonization of India, part of the immense plantations for coffee and tea of the era.

There is a lot more information about Cardamom here: http://www.plantcultures.org.uk/plants/cardamom_landing.html

Yesterday I made both the bread and the rice. The house still smells of cardamom. I imagine that it is a scent that has been filling kitchens and tents for thousands of years.

Car Dependency of Varying Amounts

The environmental and personal economic impact of one car per adult is high. When you are living in a city where most places you need to be can be reached by foot or bus there is no need for a second car. We have made it for most of the past seven years with one car between the two of us.

When we first met we each had a car but a year later my car's engine block was cracked. We considered getting me a car but never did. To begin with my record with cars is bad. I've only had one accident in all my years of driving but I just seem to cause problems with cars (I've had two alternators go out on me while I was driving). We functioned fine in Durango with only one car for a few years.

I did briefly buy one for a trip to New York because at that point it was cheaper to buy the car that I did than fly. Of course there is the debate about which is more damaging to the environment flying cross country or driving. This one time I chose not to weigh the sides to experience the trip. So for almost six months we were owners of two cars (both over ten years old).

Then we moved to Paonia to live and work on the same property and soon sold my car and kept Kevin's. "Joey" served us well for years until right before we were getting married when he gave up, a good effort for an almost twenty year old car. At that point we were gifted an old mini van for our wedding "Rosy" we named her. She has been great, reliable, sturdy and great in the snow. But she is big and uses lots of gas. In some ways she is a great Denver car, since we rarely drive in town and when we go out of town it is great to have the space for things like skis or boats. Of course we are still leaving our trail of emissions but they are less often than most.

So here we are living in a public transit friendly city with one big car that doesn't get used too much. I guess we are leaving a fairly small carbon foot print, not as small as we'd like but since we can not afford to get a new car, well you know.

And then this two week came upon us. Happily, Alder and I were getting ready to drive to meet friends for a while before we went down to Colorado Springs for the night. But Rosy would not go. Through some wonderful friends we managed to get to the Springs for my dentist appointment but since then we have been car less.

At first we thought this would be no problem. We even contemplated not fixing her for a while, going the bus pass-bike route. Except with a small child that's difficult, especially when you don't have a bike trailer. We've done the best we can, but it's hard to shop for food when it's limited to what you can put in your backpack and the bottom of your stroller. Alder and I have also been stuck missing activities because the bus rides would have been so many and long that it was not worth going.

While we strive to live as green as possible we still rely on a car, more than we thought. In fact last night we went to a Seder across town. The bus ride there was fine, we walked to the stop and literally jumped on the bus. But dinner ended at 9:15 the bus was seven blocks and five minutes later, instead we had over an hour to wait. It was okay since we were in a good mood and decided to walk around the park to a different stop for entertainment. But if it had been raining or Alder had been upset it would have been miserable.

So this morning Kevin took the commuter bus to Colorado Springs to pick up a lender car from his family. A smaller, leaner car. Not our Rosy but then closer in line with our green hopes for ourselves.

All of this has made me wonder about how dependency on vehicles happens. I grew up in New York City where many of my friends did not have cars in their families, many still do not have a car. Groceries were either carried or delivered and there never was anything you couldn't get home on the train or a cab. My family did have a car. We used it every two weeks or so to go away for the weekend. But it was a luxury not a necessity.

I did not even get my licences until I was twenty one, and only then because I had to get somewhere by car.

When in the last fifteen years did I become dependent on a car?

The State of the World; Pharmaceutical Companies

Lately I have been wondering about the state of our country. I don't mean the environmental crisis or international politics but more the ability of many of it's inhabitants to completely ignore those and other issues. As a public radio listener I live in a fairly well informed bubble. I am aware that most people, at least in USA, get their news from the TV evening reports who spend more time on local eye catching tragedy than global issues. I think the problem goes beyond the lack of real news, it has more to do with people in this country having more concern for their own status than the greater good.

I over heard a disturbing conversation the other evening. [I won't say where I was] But there were two guys, both drinking discussing the benefits of certain house remodels. Then the conversation shifted to where one was bragging about his girlfriend's job. (this is a general retelling)
"She gets 70,000 a year just wine and dine the doctors," he says. "Like going out for meals with seventy dollar bottles of wine and stuff. I mean this money is just to use to persuade them."
"What else?" the other guy is impressed. "Well you see she doesn't work for one of the big companies like Merck or anything so I guess it isn't a lot but it's seventy thousand dollars to spend plus they pay her like 300,000 for doing the job."

I stopped listening after that. I'm not sure what part of that information is more disturbing, that a sales person for drugs makes 300,000 dollars or that she has 70,000 dollars to spend on persuading doctors to use the drugs. I guess I thought that was illegal. But either this guy was being stupid and telling his friend something that was or or it isn't. Even if it isn't I'm upset that drugs are subject to being sold to the doctors that way. When I go to the doctor I would like to assume that her diagnosis and treatment for me is decided because of what is best for my situation not because she was wined and dined by a sales person to promote their pills.

Not only is the idea of medicinal sales disturbing but the fact that this guy thought it was very cool that his girlfriend had 70,000 dollars to spend on things like dinner and skiing to get the doctors. In fact he must have mentioned the 70,000 number four or five times during the conversation. What ever happened to the medical profession focusing on the well being of humanity (the other guy was still in his scrubs so I assume he worked in some sort of medical field).

I am not ignoring the fact that there are doctors, nurses, and other practitioners who spend their lives helping people who truly need it. But they seem to be more and more in the minority. But things get more confusing when you add to the equation that doctors are not all making as much as they used to, not since the advent of managed health. I thought that HMOs made lists of what medicines that they would pay for. So what is the goal of the sales people with the doctors? Yes they have a population who is no longer the pinnacle of earning in this country offering them "things" but these doctors also have less control.

What about the ethics? These sales people don't have any commitment to the patients but the doctors do, how can they be doing the best for their patients if they are being bought to suggest one pill over another? Can they really be looking for the best treatment for their patients or their pockets?

I found this group called No Free Lunch who are a group of doctors who:

We are health care providers who believe that pharmaceutical promotion should not guide clinical practice. Our mission is to encourage health care providers to practice medicine on the basis of scientific evidence rather than on the basis of pharmaceutical promotion. We discourage the acceptance of all gifts from industry by health care providers, trainees, and students. Our goal is improved patient care.

We aim to achieve our goal by informing health care providers as well as the general public about pharmaceutical industry efforts to promote their products and influence prescribing; provide evidence that promotion does in fact influence health care provider behavior, often in ways that run counter to good patient care; and provide products that can replace pharmaceutical company paraphernalia and spread our message.

We believe that there is ample evidence in the literature--contrary to the beliefs of most heath care providers--that drug companies, by means of samples, gifts, and food, exert significant influence on provider behavior.
There is also ample evidence in the literature that promotional materials and presentations are often biased and non-informative. We believe that health care professionals, precisely because they are professionals, should not allow themselves to be bought by the pharmaceutical industry: It is time to Just say no to drug reps and their pens, pads, calendars, coffee mugs, and of course, lunch.

We hope to serve as a source of information, inspiration, and assistance for those who are trying to rid their practices, institutions, and colleagues of promotional influence. We provide a forum for the exchange of ideas as well a way to connect and work together with others who are concerned about this issue.

It seems that I should give more doctors credit for working for their patients and against the pharmaceutical companies methods. This is reassuring to me, especially as we embark on our business plans in the world of complimentary and alternative medicine.

Still the fact that people involved in such important things such as medicine and drug creation should be focusing their efforts on helping all the people of the world. Not just through affordable medicine but through health education. Imagine how much could be done just with one years marketing budget. "Drug companies spent another $27.7 billion on promotion, including $15.9 billion on free drug samples and $7.3 billion on sales-rep contacts (free lunches and pens), $4 billion on direct-to-consumer advertising and $500,000 on journal advertising..." Newsweek.

Thoughts on Religion 1

Yesterday at temple the discussion topic (during our service we always have a discussion) was rituals and their purpose. The focus was on religion but not completely. The conversation got me thinking about what it means to be religious and what religion means to my life and to my families. In other words do I consider myself religious. To begin with it is hard for me to quantify what being religious actually means.

If it means observing the rituals of Judaism I got to temple once or twice a month and recognize the holidays. I don't think that makes me religious. Sure it is more than most Jews in the United States do but I do not follow many of the daily or weekly rituals.

If being religious means understanding your faith I know I am not religious. But then I am late in coming to my Judaism. I continually find myself not knowing basic facts about our story. The last time I read the Torah/bible was in ninth grade when we did bible as literature, that was almost twenty years ago so my memory is vague. As for the weekly sections of the Torah, listening to a paragraph every two weeks of a story that is read daily leads to a lot of holes in it.

But if being religious means searching for a connection with some sort of higher power, be it a anthropomorphic God or a less tangible one, I guess I am religious.

As a child I was taught to look at religion as a cultural construct created by the people to give them a connection beyond that of their government (primarily feudal). My parents saw religion, and Judaism specifically, as a way to connect ourselves to our past. But they did not go beyond that. To them the Orthodox families on the corner we archaic and controlling, people to be looked at with distrust, rather than people whose lives were closer to the spiritual side of religion. I still get quite when I see orthodox families around, they make me feel as though I am being a bad Jew, it is a remnant of my childhood, I am sure they could explain somethings to me that I never understood.

Now, while I can not claim any real understanding of my religion, I understand the need to be closer to the spirit, the 'god'. I am sure if I had been forced to attend temple every week as an obligation, as some families I knew growing up were, I would not be this accepting to looking for a connection with god. I might be better at the ritual elements of being a Jew but they might be hollow. I look at my husband and see someone who was brought up in the Lutheran church, he was even confirmed but it was all motions he was going through as a family obligation not a personal religious one (surprisingly he enjoys joining me at temple and says he likes the Reform Judaism ideas).

As many young people I searched out a connection with a spiritual center. I had gone to a Quaker school for many years and the silent meeting gave me "something" but it was an internal center. Even since graduating I have been to Quaker Meeting at various points to re-find this center. While this center is fulfilling it is not spiritual connection. So after high school I looked in the regular channels of the East and the natural world. But I always walked away unconvinced that I could really believe in the religious aspects. None of it fit.

After we had been married for a few years and there was talk of children I began to think more about religion. I knew that our child had to be brought up Jewish, because if they were not then by default they would be Christan, it's just what our country is like. I actually had a nightmare that my one of my sister-in-laws tried to surreptitiously baptise our child. I started looking at Jewish websites, the same way people look at pornography, I hid it from Kevin. I felt that I needed to have a stronger footing in Judaism before I announced to anyone that we would be a Jewish family.

A funny thing happened during my covert investigation into Jewishness, I got it. I mean it made sense on a level that had nothing to do with logic, it just fit. maybe it is hereditary or genetic but the ideas I was reading about made sense to me. It was like being told something that I had once known and forgotten. What I like best was that 'they' did not seem to expect me to change who I was as a person. In fact what I read more sounded like an extension of who I already was.

The next step was to find a Temple, or at least a Rabbi to talk to. Growing up rabbis we dour old me in dark suits who presided over funeral and high holidays. These men (and they were all men) were unapproachable serious people, they were no different than bankers to me. Then I happened upon Temple Micah, the Rabbi is young and engaging. Willing to talk outside of the service about anything. I came to try it on and pretty quickly knew it fit.

In all my searching for a spiritual connection I found one that fits with my philosophical beliefs (see the quote at the top of the blog) as well as my need for community. Of course I still don't really understand a lot about Judaism but I am learning. Some days it feels as if parts of it are genetic, it all just comes together.

Having a child brings in another facet to my religious belief and practice. While I want Alder to have the experience of being part of Judaism I do not want to force it on him. I want him to see that it is part of my life because it enriches it not because it is a social responsibility. Rarely do I want to force him to be involve in something that does not ring true to him so I have to make it part of our lives in a way that it integral to everything else not opposed to it. Ah more questions for me to answer as I unwind this mystery that is religion.