Learning from each other

The other day Alder and I went for a hike in a near by state park. As we followed the short trail Alder and I made a game of finding the trail markers, every tree that had a dash of blue paint he would go up to and point out. We followed only the blue ones, leaving the gray ones when they were no longer on the same trees (the gray trail went off another direction). It was a fun game that lasted the entire mile of the short loop trail but it was much more than that too. Alder is learning an important skill in our lives. We go hiking a lot so knowing how to follow trail markers is important. Perhaps it the Jewish mother in me coming out but I do have nightmares (the awake variety) of loosing Alder in the woods.

But showing him how to find the trail is more than teaching him an important safety skill it is a way to include him in something that we do together as a family. Until now he had always either ridden in the backpack or just stomped through the woods finding pine cones and "nut-corns" (acorns) but the other day he was aware of the "nut-corns" as well as the painted markings. He would run from tree to tree, still stopping to explore the undergrowth but excited at each painted mark he found. Even today as we uploaded the pictures he pointed to this one as said paint.

At the time that I showed him the paint marks it was more of an after thought, something I did to quell my own imagination, but as we hiked on I realized that showing him the trail markers was a way of sharing something I loved with him, introducing him to my world, the same way that giving him small balls of yarn and some knitting needles to play with while I'm knitting includes him. He watches us and knows when we care about something, these are the things that he tries to join in. Some days I catch him standing in the same position Kevin does he standing meditation, quietly looking at the world around him.

But he isn't just a little mimic, there are so many activities I would have never thought of doing if it wasn't for him. I catch myself walking on the raised edges of sidewalks when I am walking to work alone, or counting motorcycles as I pass them in the car, these are his activities that I have now adopted. He has also taught me to slow down (a process that was begun by our cat five years ago) some day we don't leave the house. He can find hours of things to do in these five rooms. Or we may take an hour to walk six blocks, not because we are talking to others but because there is so much to explore, walls to walk on, slugs to follow as they make their way across the sidewalk, puddles to jump in until they no longer have any water left, and cats to watch as they stalk birds.

So while I am bringing him into my world he is doing same for me.

The New York Pictures

After such a tough week life is looking better, camera and computer are home and Kevin is taking me (w/ Alder) to Lake Placid tomorrow for some winter fun. Here are some of the New York pictures.
Alder Helps Mama at the Train Station

The Restroom at the New Museum

Street Art

Blue

Purl Soho

Etsy Labs

Autumn

Erin reminded me that Fall is quickly coming to an end yesterday. So Alder and I took an amble on a near by Rails to Trails savoring an unusually warm afternoon.







Alder loves to give my gifts as we walk along, he carefully chooses the right pile of coal remnants.


Autumn is a time for cozy clothes, cardigans and clogs .

The sun was getting low as we headed back (I am still getting used to being in the north again I forgot just how early the sun sets, I love it)

Hermit's Island

What a trip! I'm not even sure how to describe it. We arrived a day late due to rain and after five hours of driving. [Note: Hermit's Island in tent and truck camping only no trailers or RVs] We landed in a beautiful camp site with an old old birch tree and only one other couple on the whole loop of sites. The site itself was so nice that we spent hours there. Of course there was one whole day when Alder and I just spent on a beach that we had to ourselves. He got to be the little naked-man he is and didn't wear clothes until the ride back. According to Kevin there were other people on the beach when he joined us but I never saw any.

The third night we walked down to the camp store and bought two pounds of fresh clams. After sitting them to purge in fresh water for an hour we steamed them. They were delicate, everything but the strip melted in your mouth a salty/sweet mix of sun and ocean. Their flavor was delicate and simple a truly one of the greatest mouth sensations I have had.

Saturday morning we woke up early to rain, a good ending to a stay on a mythical island. Quickly packing we drove a misty route 1 to Portland for breakfast. To cheer me as we drove out of the city this crow appeared.

On Hermit's Island

First you walk through an enchanted forest.


And you arrive at a rocky shore.


Don't fret there is sand there too.


And seaweed to play with.


Walking in sand is strange at first.


Of course there is always time to check out what Mama's reading.


But mainly the day is for sand.


And shells.


Phew! What a day. Luckily the camel was there to carry me home!

31 Days a Walk Across Denver

Alder and I walked across Denver yesterday. We started out at the Tattered Cover, our favorite bookstore, where I actually splurged on a few books:

Simple Sewing Patterns and How To by Lotta Jansdotter

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowlings

Embroidery Techniques and Patterns by Marie-Noelle Bayard

Finding Your Inner Mama by Eden Steinberg

The Bake Shop Ghost by Jaqueline Ogburn

This is the most books I have ever bought without them being for other people, I know we can't really afford it but soon we will be without the Tattered Cover and their huge stock of books to browse through. Okay so I finished Harry Potter at 3:30 last night but that was worth it.

After Alder climbed the stairs, five times we headed west towards home visiting friends along the way. We also stopped into Stuben's for some lunch. And then headed into down town. There is something eerie and enjoyable about walking through a business area during the weekend when it's all quiet. Then it was past the train station where the cross country train was stopping for dinner. Over the train bridge, the south Platte river bridge, and the new walking bridge (see photo) to the slog up the long hill home. Five hours and seven miles later we were collapsed on the floor.

A friend of mine calls this sort of stuff urban spelunking but I think yesterday was more urban trekking. It isn't a replacement for being out in the hills or mountains but it can be fun.

THE BIG ROAD TRIP

Just to clarify for all of you who have been confused about the plans this August. Kevin and I are renting a 17' truck and driving it and the car across the country and we are camping out along the way. We are willing to pay one one way ticket for someone to help us, anyone else who wants to come along is welcome but should know that we can't afford their plane ticket. We are not staying in motels because after being in the car all day we look forward to camping out. We are not towing the car because there isn't a place for Alder in the truck. We are planning on picnicking and cooking our own meals, except one special diner meal. And most of all we are not in any way shape or form hiring movers.

Our plan right now is to drive rt 34 most of the way across the country rather than the interstate since we aren't going to be moving that fast and there is more to see on 34.

Coming into My Own (long)

Grandma Mary has Alder today so I have been busy working. The morning was slow but I made up for it with five super productive hours after lunch. In the middle of editing and rewriting I was inspired to write the following, it is more a personal meandering than anything. I would really love to hear other people's stories about coming into their own.

My story is a bit of a ramble, but understanding doesn't always come in a flash. Mine was more like a stone wall, rock by rock as they are found. There was a breaking point though, a time in my life that I can look back at as when this all began.

It was the summer after college, I was making up a few classes at Umass and living in my dad's cabin. I was finishing eighteen years of school and was looking for a job.

No, actually I wasn't looking for a job. While my friends rushed off to interviews with resumes on linen paper I could not see that in my future. I still had a few months of classes before I was employable and was fine that there was nothing there waiting for me.

After the courses ended I fell into a job painting an old colonial house (who said you can't do anything with an art degree). It was a solitary job, I'd work my eight hours stopping for a two hour lunch when I would bike to the lake and go swimming. I saw people occasionally but I was happy in my hermitage. After work I would walk to the post office to get the mail and send off a few letters (this was back when people still wrote them).

One day I received a letter from a friend who I had been writing about my indecision about the future. Her letter suggested that I visit her in northern Minnesota where she was living and then move to Colorado with her in the autumn.

By the time I had reached home I had mentally packed my bags and boxes. It was reading that letter that made me realize what I wanted to do with the rest of my life: be happy. I had not applied for any jobs because every job description sounded constraining and consuming. I wasn't interested in tons of money so that was never a motivator. Understanding this I realized that I was happy to work various jobs to support my real interests.

That first year after college I learned more then than I had in all of my schooling. I had driven cross-country, canoed in the Boundary Waters, learned how to shoot a gun, learned how to ski, rock climbed, tried snowboarding, took a solo hiking trip in the desert and much more. I took what ever jobs I could to cover rent and food.

As the years in Durango passed I still felt that something was missing. I had fun with my friends and lovers but it just that, fun. I went back to school to get my teacher's license and stumbled upon what was missing, practically by accident. I did my student teaching at Community of Learners Charter School (COL) (and continued to be connected to them for two more years). The school was travel/ natural world focused. Students did not move from grade to grade only completed portfolios one each for elementary, middle and high school, with areas such as intrapersonal skills and natural world. The teachers I worked with blew my mind. It wasn't their teaching styles that was so amazing but their views on life and how to live it. I began to discover a entire world of people who looked at the world in a way that immediately made sense to me.

But for the five years I taught I still felt torn. Here I was implementing the very structures that had made me so miserable. Even in a place like COL there are rules and expectations.
Out of misplaced responsibilities I returned to school to get my master's through Goddard College, in a low residency program. Goddard's model of education was student led, I loved what I was learning and how much automony I had.

My studies introduced me to authors like David Orr, Ron Miller and John Holt. I focused on the importance of a connection to place had in people's lives, specifically how to connect children in school with the places they live. But the more I read the less I saw a need for the educational system in my life. I think there is a place for schools in the world but it wasn't my place to be working in them.

A moment of clarity came while I was reading "A Life Worth Living" a compilation of John Holt's letters. Reading the progression of his ideas I realized that I had been unschooling myself since I had graduated college. That having the freedom to learn what and when I wanted had been what made my life so different now. I knew that I did not want send my own children (unborn) to school and that I couldn't support the system I worked within. So I decided to stop being a teacher.

This was the final piece in my search for understanding of my own happiness. Understanding what constructs of my life are unnecessary and caused me to be unhappy, and being able to let go of them, has allows me to be more joyous in much that I do. Without expectations it is easier to work hard, care deeper and love more easily.

Of course this tale was not as solitary as it sounds, I had many guides along the way, none more than my husband. I feel that I should thank those people who have touched my life along the way, some only briefly others for years.

[In no particular order]
Bliss Bruen, Kate Chasson, Hallie Whitney, Sam Carstens, the Darby's of Paonia, the Lehrman family (where are you now), and Molly Peacock.

Time to Get Out

Summer is here in Denver which means that it is time to get outside, and preferably up in elevation. Most of the counties around here have a lot of designated open space parks. Alder and I have started to explore them. So far we have been to Mt Falcon, where there were ruins from 'castles', and Walden Ponds a wetlands. There are literally hundreds more for us to explore this summer.


Side note: Kevin past the herbal section of the national acupuncture exam on Saturday!!! Only three more sections and a school exit exam and he's done!!!

Suddenly Soon

Recently Kevin and I realized just how little time we have left in Denver. He graduates on the 18th of August and we have two weeks after that to pack and clean up our place. Between now and then there is a lot going on.

May 1-4 My dad is in town.
May 9th Amy's group show opening.
May 29- June 11 East coast trip:
15th High School reunion
Visiting towns
June 16th& 17th Estes Park Wool Market
July 4th Week Kevin's break.
July 13th Alder's 1st birthday.
August 2nd Our 4th Anniversary
August 9th - 12th Outdoor Retailers Trade Show (Mama's first business trip)
August 18th Kevin graduates!!!!!!
August 31st Our lease is up.

On top of all of that we have to pack, hang with friends, play in the garden, and spend time in the mountains.

Friendships

I spent the day with my friend Kate I have known since we were five. In fact we moved to Colorado together ten years ago and she is Alder's godmother. There is something about spending time with someone who has known you for so long that is so natural.

She lives up in the mountains so we don't get to see each other too often. Today she had to come to Denver for errands. The sort of errands that are better if someone tags along. So I offered to be that person.

We headed over to Bud's which is the local construction thrift store to find windows for a cold frame she's making for her garden. Bud's is one of those places you can get lost in for hours (which we did) and find all sorts of things you don't need (which we didn't).

After sifting through hundreds of newer double paned windows (no good because they filter UV) we found two old single paned window hiding in a dark corner (literally since they only light the center of the warehouse). This sort of excursion is a classic Kate and I thing to do.

We have been going on adventures together since we were allowed to go outside without an adult. We've climbed mountains together, been chased by crazy cows, found secret books store, and many other things. In the last few years our lives have been busy and our adventures are fewer.

Still it was great to have a few hours to spend with her (we also went for a walk along the river).

Week in Review

I've been a bad blogger this week. So much has taken my time that sitting down at the computer to write something for pleasure has been impossible.

Wednesday was my meeting with the SCORE volunteer. This meant that I spent Monday and Tuesday writing our business plan (Kevin spent both days with Alder until he had class). When I did have time with Alder we took two walks to the library (we discovered it's closed on Mondays).

Monday after noon Alder and I went swimming with a friend. He's starting to understand more of the idea of what to do in the water. We even pushed him back and forth between us and he was holding his head out of the water and trying to move himself.

By Tuesday night I was so tired of staring at the computer that I opted to stare at the TV screen instead and watch some "Monarch of the Glen" DVDs from the library. It's guilty pleasure that I have been spreading out over the last few years, trying not to get ahead of what's been put out on DVD. It isn't great art or film but it's a cozy sort of story.

Wednesday morning I headed to my meeting with the SCORE volunteer. I was nervous when I first walked in because he seemed ancient and said what every time I spoke. But soon we were having a productive conversation. He never even looked at the business plan. I left with lots of research to do during our June trip back east.

That afternoon we spent sometime talking with Rabbi Mo and going to the Tattered Cover.
Tattered Cover has to be my favorite bookstore. Their new location is an old theater that they've only somewhat changed so that you come upon small groupings of seats among the isles. The architecture was not changed at all only carpeted and bookshelves put in.
We found a great book for my niece Rebbecca on the history of art.

Thursday things got crazy. In the morning we only managed a walk to the grocery store before we started the napping process. It took an hour and a half just to get Alder to sleep and when he was it was light sleep. While he napped I managed to pack us for spending a night in at Kevin's parent's house in Colorado Springs, since I was having oral surgery 7am Friday down there.

The plan was to spend the afternoon with friends pick Kevin up from school and head down there. Except the car didn't start. @$%#$#@!!!! Luckily our Thursday friends offered us their car for the night. So Alder and I piled all our stuff and stroller on the bus and headed over.

Of course being one of "those" days every crazy person between our house and City Park talked to us. I ended getting off early just to get away fro them, I hate when I give off the talk to me vibe on the bus.

After a brief Thursday visit we met up with Kevin had a Thai dinner and headed to the Springs.

I am sure that the house in the Black Forest at some point was a comfortable place. Kevin grew up there and doesn't have any macabre or gothic bone in his body. But since I have known him they have been slowly working towards selling the place. At this point there is a mattress on the floor in one bedroom, a folding table in the dinning room and a barn full of crap. It's creepy especially at night.

Alder had the starting of a cold that night which meant that he slept badly and thus we slept badly. But it was short anyway, we were up by six to get to the dentist where they pumped me full of drugs and did unthinkable things to my mouth.

I only vaguely remember the drive home or getting into bed. I slept it off for four hours and then I tried to deal with some baking and cooking, even though my mouth is all swollen up. I am supposed to bring the kiddish to temple this morning (challah, and a few other snacks) all of this by bus. So I was trying to come up with something that I could make while lying down every few minutes, needless to say I'm going to buy stuff.

Ah bed, that is supposed to be where I could recover from the unspeakable things they did to my mouth. But as Alder is on a sleep strike with a cold he was up every twenty minutes or so. He has been crying since four AM, luckily Kevin is giving me a break to do this and get ready to go (I have to leave two hours early because of Saturday bus schedules).

So I am sitting here tired as hell, barely able to move my mouth but somehow I am not actually in a bad mood.

I'll post pictures next time.

A Hike in the Hills

Yesterday we went hiking over in the foothills south of Boulder. I thought I'd tell the story in pictures.

At the beginning of the hike there were all of these small trees with all this new growth. I can't remember from last year what they are. The only plant I distinctly remember were the short apple trees that grew in the gully and made early mornings smell so good when they were in bloom, I doubt these are the.

Here is Kevin and Alder at the beginning of the hike. The Matron the rock formation behind them is where we hiked to.

You can't tell by looking at Kevin but it was really warm.

Alder as usual trying to taste his way through the day.


Alder doing his first boulder problem, we did not set this shot up.

Of course Kevin couldn't help moving him through all the moves.

What a perfect way to spend a Sunday.

The Snowy Day

Yes the title is the same as the Ezra Keats book but it was appropriate. The radio kept threatening 18 inches of snow and we were going stir crazy so we headed down to Mondo Vino to pick up some beer. It was good to get out and move for all of us. Back in the house were all cozy now and Alder is enjoying his new napping bed (when he doesn't fall asleep in random places; like say under the dinning room table). Below are some photos of our day.

Stacey

Snowy Day and the New Bed