Flea Market Thoughts

We spent the weekend in New York, a party (over whleming), connecting with an old friend (haven't seen since tenth grade), lots of food. Alder and I went to the flea market Sunday. When I was a kid I would go almost every week, at that point I was into suit jackets and old maps of Portugal and New York. My taste has changed but being there hasn't. I spent $3 on a little cut paper picture of peaches on the branch (will have to wait for picture) it now hangs happily at the bottom of our stairs.

What I love best at the flea market is taking it all in. Even if I'm not interested I end up looking at each booth. My favorite part is inside the cafeteria, the market takes place at a middle school, where all the old jewelry, coin and ephemera dealers are. As I fingered costume jewelry and dressing table mirrors and young orthodox guy haggled with the coin dealer and a Korean mother and daughter browsed the movie paraphernalia. The room smelt like school food and old paper. In the dim lights I felt like I could be fifteen again.

Simplifying in Action

It seems inevitable that every time we move we end up taking things to the thrift store on both ends of the journey. Our most recent trip included a very large box of toys and board book and a very large box of clothing. Clothing I have absolutely no problem getting rid of. I get most of it at the thrift store to begin with so if it isn't really love I am not loosing sleep over the money issue.

Toys have presented a different problem, I was having a hard time getting rid of presents people had given Alder. Sure if they were broken or missing parts they quickly made it out, but each gift was chosen for him. The thing is we were starting to have lots of toys. Then I went and visited a family with four children last week and their communal toy bin had only a little more than Alders. This got me thinking, first of all he hardly uses most of the toys, some because he isn't old enough for them others because he has too many variations on a theme, others because they just are not things he likes. So we pared down the toys, keeping the loved ones, the ones that he'll grow into and the ones that will grow with him. Now rather than five small buckets of toys there are three. One for soft blocks, one for random toys, and one for wooden toys. As for the book shelf I was liberal with my editing, I got rid of anything I couldn't stand to read. Stuffed animals were the hardest, I grew up with an entire zoo of animals on the shelves, but really at 1 he shouldn't already have a zoo. So we kept the important ones (no aunt Amanda the monkey has not been sent packing) and the simple ones and the ones we just plain liked.

I know in the future when Alder starts to have his own opinions this process will be one of negotiation but for now I'll make my own judgments.

This trend towards simplicity has been a long time in coming. Before Kevin started grad school we had a fairly simply led life. But with lack of time and other constraints we fell into the lazy habits: eating out often, getting things instead of doing things, etc. Now with creating our lives anew with a business and a family it is the right time for us to create a foundation of simplicity in our lives that can become the norm again. Not only because it makes a dollar go further but also because it becomes a life lived more fully and with more balance.

Simplicity for us isn't only about saving money, it's about the freedom not spending a lot of money creates more importantly it is about focusing on doing and experiencing more than having. Making time to create things whether it's bread or a new print is more important than a iPod (which we still do not own) or a jaunt to the mall. While we are living in a rental a large garden is out of the question, but plants in pots and CSA's are not, neither are farm stands. All of these are just little pieces of the picture. The point of living simply is magnified by having Alder around and the values we want him to see us living by. But even deeper and more selfishly the simple life is the more balanced and freer I feel and that is worth a trillion times any money I save.

So as we learn to deprocess ourselves back to a live of action and creation rather than consumption you may hear me struggling here occasionally, it isn't me whining merely working things through.

5 Days Simplicity...returning to

If I am up at 3 am you know that life is stressful right now. Of course we are only in the middle of moving across the country to start a business in a town where we know no one. So instead of getting some much needed sleep I am sitting here on the computer (actually in front of it, I would smush it if I sat on it).

Yes there is a lot of unknowns coming up soon so I am trying to focus on the things that I actually know. This means I have spent and inordinate amount of time collecting paint chips anytime I am at or in the neighborhood of a store that sells paint. Even if our landlord doesn't let us paint we will be able to do the fabric wall thing. Either way thinking about colors has been a good stress reliever lately.

This brings me to what I look forward to the most when we move, a return to simplicity. The last few years have been chaotic between Kevin's school and having a baby we haven't had much time or mental space for it. But now that school is over we are going to go back to our old ways. I am so excited.

This world we live in is complicated, there are so many things going on that we can't simplify (have you looked at the news paper lately?). the one thing any person can control is their own life. That is why we chose simplicity. Before you get any pictures of a Japanese inspired home with no furniture and no entertainment let me explain how we do simplicity.

To us it means our Friday night date involves cooking dinner together and dancing in the kitchen to Rosemary Clooney or Sam Bush. It means creating a home where curling up on the couch with a book is the fought after and then pile on location. It means being out on the trail before seven, just because. It means reading out loud to each other in the car. It also means that we are going to get organized.

The organization thing is the tough one for us. We are fairly good at organizing, it's the staying organized that is difficult. We get complacent and things pile up, then the piles become enemies and we fight dealing with them. But we are determined to start fresh begin with new systems for getting things done, keeping things neat, going out less to eat, and most importantly spending more time together. It sounds linear, I know, but there needs to be an underlying structure that allows for the creative, spontaneous, and random to occur.

here are some resources I found on getting organized:
I think this list is about where I am, a beginner.

This site has some good ideas, doesn't seem as Zen as the title though.

I like the 90% rules Emme has here.

This is the website of the New Road Map Foundation, Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez is the book which their ideas are based, it is a good look at how to become financially independent.

And of course there is the book that I found in a used books store seven years ago: The Simple Living Guide by Janet Lours Amazon doesn't have a copy but you can find it at Abebooks used.

The saddest part of looking up all these sites was the amount of sites that were about things you should by to help you organize. I'm not talking bookshelves and file folders but lots of crap.

I suppose I should attempt to get some sleep.

13 Days A Day in the Life

5:15 Wake up

5:30- 6:30 Check email and do other computer stuff.

6:30-7:45 Breakfast with family.

7:45- 8:15 Actually get a shower, get dressed (interesting with most of my clothing packed)

8:15-8:50 Drive Kevin to school on the way to downtown library.

9 am- 10am Get to library an hour early so we go for a walk around the Golden Triangle. Spend a half hour in front of the library waiting talking to one woman who just to Denver and avoiding the man who was having an ongoing dialog with himself the entire time.
10 am-11am Grab a ton of books for me to look through then head to the kids room so Alder can play.

11am 11:30 Visit with Trish in the bowels of the library.

11:30-12pm Drive home.

12pm-12:45 Eat lunch. Me ham sandwich and salad. Alder saucy meat.

12:45- 1:30 Stare at wall, too hot to go outside.

1:30-2:15 Got to fabric store for felt for furniture at new house (wood floors! and more solid fabrics for Alders quilt.

2:15-5:00 Stare at wall. Pack one box of 'shoose' and outdoor gear. Draw pictures together on unmade boxes. Talk to Kevin on phone during which time Alder manages to remove his diaper and climb into fireplace- like lightening.

5pm-6pm Take Alder out front to play with hose and get clean. He also spends time walking up and down the block.
6pm Write about my day.

This has been the slowest day I have had in years, it was as if someone had added fifteen seconds to every minute for me. Oh well, it passes and I can smell something good coming up from the kitchen.

30 Days The memories packing brings

I spent the morning packing boxes and listing stuff on Craigslist. At one point I was going into the closet to pull my husbands sweaters and glanced at my side of the closet. And this is what I saw.
I love how it is full of flowery shirts. This has been a long process. I grew up in a house where clothing was usually navy blue and tan or gray and white. My mother's taste tended towards tweeds and denim while my father wore a business suite or Chinos with a navy blue tennis shirt everyday. My clothes were either hand me downs from older friends or bought along the lines of their tastes. As I grew older they felt like my own.

But I remember spending hours looking a catalogs with dresses and shirts with flowery patterns and light colors. I would wander through the neighborhood dress shops like some people do jewelry stores. But when it was time for a new dress they were usually very dignified or casual.

Slowly after I left home more feminine clothing entered my wardrobe but I still preferred blacks, blues and greens, and nothing to girly. It wasn't that I didn't like the colorful stuff it was just that I felt awkward wearing it.

After I meet my husband I was introduced to a new palette of colors for clothing. He wore oranges and browns and light blues. Since we were fairly close in size I found myself in his t-shirts and button downs often. It was a slow process but I eventually added more light colors to my closet. But the dresses and skirts and flowery prints still eluded. Then we moved to Denver where the summers are hot (I know I've mentioned this before) and so I started to wear skirts on hot days and well they've drifted into my life and I have begun to love them.
The flowers came along slowly first in blues then broadening. Until now the closet bursts with colors.

But I was trying to tell a story. Last Fall a childhood friend came for a week. We were getting ready to go out for a nice dinner and for fun I asked her to choose me clothing, like she used to years before. Before we got to my room she told me that I should wear something flowery, as a joke. She was surprised to see my closet and me causally saying 'but which one'.

My family is still surprised when they see me in anything other than jeans and t-shirts or some women's version of a male piece of clothes. The funny thing is if I map this change in wardrobe I see that it follows a more complex line of changes in me as a person. As I have become more confidant with who I am I have felt more at ease in my body and therefore more willing to wear different colors.

In a lot of ways I can thank Kevin for a lot of these changes. He has always been supportive of my choices and he never expects less of me since I am a woman. Yet he revels in my womanness. With this support I have been able to pursue the things that are important to me and not worry that he might be critical. Knowing that he is there loving me has allowed me to become more of who I am. From starting a non-profit to wearing dresses.

hmm... I think I'll go kiss him.

On the occation of a sunny day for yard saling

Some people go to the spa, others go off to some fancy mall, all in search of a little indulgence. Today I got to indulge myself in yard and estate sales. It was a bright sunny morning and Kevin needed study time so I loaded Alder up in the car and headed over to some of the ritzier neighborhoods of Denver.

Our first stop was a small sale where we picked up a CD. Then back into the car and the next sale on I walked away with 4 books. Then we came across a sign for an estate sale (these are always thicker). The day was worth it just to be able to go into this house. It had been built in the '60's and still had all the original modern styling. Including the turquoise, walnut and brass kitchen. There was even an atrium with a fountain (dry). While I spent most of my time looking at the house I did find a few pieces of clothing for me.

Next we came to another estate sale but this one was run by one of those companies that over charges for everything. Again we enjoyed the architecture but no buying went on there.
At this point I thought we were heading home but we passed by a school having a rummage sale and I couldn't pass it by (this was the point of the day after all). This was the only stop on the trip that I wished that I was alone. There was so much stuff in giant piles that I could only look at a little while holding Alder. Here we scored another book some clothes for both of us and some baked sale goods.

Now we were going home, except there was this one sign that just struck me as one I should follow. There wasn't much at the sale but a ton of CDs, I walked out with 8 including a few I had been looking for. At that point I was out of energy and cash so we headed home.

LIST of scored stuff
CDS
Sarah McLachlan Surfacing
Jonatha Brooke 10 cent Wings
O Brother Where Art Thou? sound track
Afro Celt Sound System Vol 3
Greg Brown One More Goodnight Kiss
The Story The Angel in the House
This American Life Lies Sissies and Fiascoes
Nomad Nomad
Laura Love Octoroon

BOOKS
TC Boyle The Tortilla Curtain
Benjamin Kunkel Indecision
Haven Kimmel A Girl Named Zippy
Allegra Goodman The Family Merkowitz
Myla Goldberg Bee Season

CLOTHING ME
1960's Wool Jacket with fake fleece lining.
Silk Turtleneck
Linen Shirt
Jeans

CLOTHING ALDER
Cow Overalls
Garden Overalls

So I like to indulge in a little consumerism every once in a while. When it's used I don't mind.